My Notes and Observations
The circle O'Dimm created terrifies me. I cannot see it, but I know it is here. I know no name for the sense with which I perceive it. When I near its bounds, strange shivers shoot down my spine. This is not pain, but something that stands my hair on edge like a hedgehog's quivers.
A month has passed, and still I stay within the runic circle. Nightmares prey on me more and more. I've come to fear sleep. I know not how long I can withstand this.
I dreamt I had a daughter. This was strange, for I've never had children, yet one came to me in my sleep. She was no older than ten. She called me "daddy" and loved me deeply. I could see it in her eyes. The strangest part of all was that I also burned for her with a great paternal love. Can one possibly dream of someone who doesn't exist? Can one love such a one?
I no longer fear sleep. Perhaps O'Dimm has decided to give me peace. I have no desire to change his mind.
My dreams of Amelie give me great joy. My daughter is a good and clever girl. I believe she will grow into a wonderful woman. A shame she exists only in my dreams. Not only do I no longer fear sleep, but now
I cannot wait for the moment in which it comes. What a fantastic transformation! If nothing changes, I shall soon try to leave the circle.
I know now why I dreamt for weeks of the child I never had. It was his doing. This night my daughter died. She caught a strange illness which pocked her whole body with hideous, oozing sores. She cried, begging me to help. She died in my arms. I awoke soaked with sweat. I remain a wreck, my mind tattered.
Three months have passed since Amelie's death. My heart still bleeds, and horrifying visions plague my every moment. I'm a blind man who wishes he saw nothing, for utter blindness would be a relief compared to these tormenting visions.
I cannot persevere much longer. I have become a deeply unhappy old man.
I have now lived withing the magic circle for a year. Thoughts of suicide haunt my mind ever more often. It would be so simple – I need but step outside the runes...